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Diary: Crystal Taylor

Crystal Taylor's diary was found among her belongings in the baggage recovered March 4 from Hurricane Creek near the Highway 7 bridge in Oxford. The diary is 6" X 8" and has a powder blue cover with a flower motif. There is a lock with a latch on the diary. The key was attached to the diary with a 5" length of string. The diary was handwritten in ballpoint ink, with the first entry dated Jan. 1, 1998.

The following entries in Crystal Taylor's diary were withheld from potential suspects and referred to experts along with medical records in the investigation into possible sexual abuse involvement in the murder case. | View previously released diary here |

It's 4:00 a.m. I should be asleep but I can't. Had the worst nightmare. It started out visualizing our routine the way Dad tells us to do and it was beautiful. I had on the best long flowing skirt an ice blue color and it was floating and moving with the music, I felt so good, it was perfect. The best. Everything I love about skating. Then all of a sudden everything went wrong. The music changed, it was awful. I was in position for a lift and turned and Dale was grinning at me. His face was so weird, it was a skeleton but he still had skin, no lips, his teeth were grinning but it was evil, pure face of evil. He said, "if you won't put your heart into it, I'll do it for you" and reached out with a metal sort of jagged claw, but it was more like a claw of saw blades, and it was spinning and grasping and moving toward me and I knew he was going to cut my heart out. I tried to spin away and I fell and he was moving this thing closer and closer and I couldn't get away. I was so scared I couldn't breath or move, then I blacked out, in my dream I mean, it was so weird. Then this misty stuff was in front of me and I realized it was my skating skirt and I pulled it off my face. I was so relieved, I thought I was awake and the dream was over, but then all of sudden out of no where HE was there again, on top of me and I was smothering, I couldn't breathe, he was grabbing my arms so tight I thought they'd burst. The face was hideous, it writhed like snakes then it was Dad, then it was Dale, then it was Death......I relived it all, it was so awful. I'm shaking and freezing cold. I want to go to the bathroom but I'd have to go past HIS room and I can't. I just can't. So I'm writing instead. I'll try to force myself to go back to sleep, so much work to do tomorrow, but how can I close my eyes? I have to get out of this. I want a normal life, far away, with a wonderful man that loves me. Keep faith and pray. But can I?

*****

Jan. 12 

Another one. I can't breath. I'm so scared, I'm shaking. I'm afraid to even turn the light on in case someone hears me. I thought I was awake, but I guess I was really sleeping, wasn't I? I was looking at the room, at the patterns of shadows on the dresser and it was so REAL, but then I looked up and Dad was there, he was getting in the bed and grabbing my arms again, but it was REAL. Did it happen? It must have been a dream, it must have. I'm over that now. I stared at the dresser, I willed myself to move and I couldn't move, I couldn't breath, I couldn't do anything. Then it just went away. I woke up. I opened my eyes and looked at the dresser and it looked totally different, but I just KNOW I was awake. I'm so confused. I hope we get to go to Colorado. If we get a spot I'm going to talk to them about singles. I can't take this anymore.

*****

Jan. 16

We're going!!!!! YES!!!!! I'm so happy. This is my chance. I'm not going to let anyone stop me this time.

*****

Jan. 20

I'm really afraid of Dale, now. I think he knows what I'm planning even though I know he doesn't. He was so rough today. I fell and twisted my knee a few times. We're working hard, but it's never enough for Dale. It's like I'm supposed to work for both of us. Like the harder I work the better he is, but it isn't. He said he'd kill me if I didn't come through again today.